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At 7:30 in the morning on October 1st, 2004, I woke up to find out that Melanie had been having contractions for about an hour. They were only 35 seconds long and about 6 minutes apart by then. I decided to take a little time to write down some details of the past year as the day unfolded.

Melanie and I decided in the fall of 2003 that we were ready to start trying to have a baby. We knew that it could take a while to get pregnant, but our goal was to be pregnant by Melanie's 30th birthday in the spring. We read books and charted cycles trying to find the perfect moments for conception, even though they always seemed to come at the end of very long and difficult days. We were very lucky, though, and in the third week of January she took a pregnancy test and it was positive. She had been pregnant since around Christmas.

We spent the early morning straightening things around the house and preparing for the company we would have by the time we got back from the hospital. Every few minutes Mel would have a contraction and have to pause what she was doing, but they were still mild and far apart. Once everything felt ready, we started playing Lord of the Rings Monopoly to pass time. Periodically I would time a series of Melanie's contractions to see how long they were and how far apart, and everything seemed to be progressing steadily. About halfway through the game the contractions had finally become too intense for Mel to focus on the game and it was time to start our relaxation drills. We moved to the bedroom, put a movie in, and continued laboring.

Friends from our Church had just begun teaching a birth class and though the timing wasn't right for us to take their class, we looked into it and decided to take the class in the Bradley Method from their teacher who was beginning one of the 12 week classes in time for us to finish well before the due date. The class teaches a method of natural child birth (no drugs and no surgery) that focuses on husband coaching. In the months leading up to the delivery the mother diets and exercises to give the baby and her own body the proper nutrients and to prepare her body for the marathon of childbirth. The husband, meanwhile, is learning all he can about the process of labor, the possibilities, options, and how to coach the mother effectively. The goal is that when labor begins, the mother will, through her preparations, be able to attain a state of deep relaxation, and the father will be able to ease her through the contraction and between contractions bring her as close to that state as possible so that each contraction can be taken one at a time.

We knew from our class that we wanted to put off going to the hospital as long as possible since the more time you spend in the hospital, the more likely you are to have mandatory surgical procedures, so I was waiting for the contractions to get more intense, longer and closer together. We watched a couple of Mel's favorite movies (Moonstruck and A Room With a View) and had a chance to practice going through real contractions as they were getting tougher. In the classes we had practiced a variety of methods for working through contractions, but only as they began to become intense were we able to see which ones worked best for us. By 2:30 the contractions were lasting from 60-90 seconds and were 3-5 minutes apart. I decided it was time to go to the hospital, since it would take a little while to check in, and if labor got much more intense, that was going to be an ordeal.

We gathered our hospital bags including the snacks and Gatorade for the labor and personal items for a couple days in the hospital, and drove to Cobb Wellstar Hospital near our house. Checking into the hospital was, indeed one of the worst parts of the day. The change from laboring in the bed to filling out papers during continuing contractions was a tough one. We were trying to answer questions, move from desks, to triage, to the labor room while they were monitoring, sticking, and prodding Melanie when she was having ever tougher contractions made all the worse by the fact that we weren't able to do our relaxation during that time. We didn't want any IV fluids since they would slow down labor and increase the need for drugs that speed up labor, but we had agreed to a Heplock which would allow them access to her vein quickly in an emergency. The hardest moment of that transition was when a new and inexperienced nurse dug around in Mel's arm looking for the vein while she was having an intense contraction. Considering we wanted no drugs or intervention, it took ridiculously long to get to the laboring room.

Once we reached the laboring room, we were mostly left alone. Melissa, the head nurse on duty, had all of her children naturally and was a huge help in making sure we got to proceed the way we wanted. Apparently there are almost no natural childbirth's at Cobb Hospital, since everyone else regarded us as quite a novelty. It's surprising that that's the case since they made it very easy for us, and the room was equipped with all sorts of helpful devices that we had practiced with, such as a birthing ball, birthing stool, Jacuzzi and a laboring bar. Melissa remarked that she was glad someone was finally trying them out. She would come in for about 5 minutes each hour to monitor Melanie and the baby's heartbeats and then leave us alone to continue laboring. We labored in the Jacuzzi for about an hour where I tried to give Mel counter pressure on her lower back during the contractions. We tried the ball which had been great in practice, but didn't feel right during labor. Mostly Melanie labored on her side in the bed while I pushed hard on her lower back and counted down slowly during the contractions - 10, 10, 10, 9, 9, 9, 8, 8, 8 - with each set of numbers representing one deep breath to help her pace her breathing.

It was now evening and the contractions were getting very intense. Around 8 o'clock Melanie was beginning to be fatigued and discouraged. I hoped that it meant we were entering transition, often the hardest part, but also nearing the home stretch. Women almost always despair during transition, and this is when name-calliing, questioning of abilities, and all sorts of other challenging behaviors can present themselves. It's the shortest phase, but the contractions commonly double up, meaning that one begins before another has finished. By this time, the nurse, Melissa, was staying in the room. Other nurses were beginning to hover and set up the room for delivery as well, and Pam, the midwife, had started checking on us. Melanie was dilated and effaced and ready to go. The contractions were very hard and she was moaning, but the worst she ever said was "I don't like this," to which the midwife responded, "nobody likes this part, honey."

Melanie started pushing at about 9 o'clock. Labor had been getting steadily harder and harder, and this was truly the culmination. Each contraction required a feat of strength. Melanie was crouched, holding the laboring bar and pushing with all her might, then collapsing into the bed to rest for a minute or less before going right back into it. I was holding her shoulder and pulling her knees up so that she could be in a half seated crouch. I tried to be as encouraging as possible, but Melanie was having a very hard time. The pain was great, but it seemed like the exhaustion and fatigue were even more of a burden. She pushed for 30 minutes. I got to see the progress as the head pushed to the surface and the hair began to show, but Mel had to take our word for it that there was progress being made. Once his hair was visible it wasn't much longer. As his head came out, he twisted and I saw his little, scrunchy, purple face for the first time. There was only a little more pushing to get his shoulders loose and then he came gushing out with what seemed like 10 gallons of amniotic fluid. They put him on her chest and he immediately began to nurse.

Wayah James Critz was born at 9:30 on October 1st 2004 after about 13 hours of labor. Melanie never asked for pain killers or even seemed to need them. She was calm, focused, and remarkable. There was no tearing or need for surgical assistance. They spent a day together in the hospital while the nurses checked in to see that everything was indeed all right, and then we all went home.